the circle of like

2009-10-19 11:56 p.m.

Nine months ago, it started. The irrational, mad emotional spiral known as "hey jauntyism".

HEY JAUNTY = HJNTIY = HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

In it, Ginnifer Goodwin played the typical, neurotic girl perfectly. Waiting by the phone. Reading too far into little "signs" she picked up on. Imagining "happily ever after" before the second or third date.

We laughed and we scoffed when we watched the movie, because we confidently thought that could never be us. Christina and I pride ourselves on the fact that we are cold hard bitches. When feelings invaded and set up camp in our hearts for a couple of months, it was so sudden and unprecedented that the impact was exponentially more distressing than had it been under normal circumstances.

I met a boy who fed me and had the right look. And it just so happened at this time, right after we had watched HJNTIY and drew parallels between our lives and the script. I came pretty close to actually "falling" for him, was disgustingly wistful and sensitive, until life happened and he started dating someone else. Luckily I remembered that Kate Winslet said of Leo Di in Revolutionary Road: "You were just a boy who made me laugh once at a party." Snorberg could be trivialized in the same way, and just as quickly as it began, it was over.

At the same time, Christina developed irrational but potent feelings for someone who lived across the country. She genuinely did know him, but alas not through datese or other quality time together. She's just been trained in Social Sciences to be expert and thorough in research, whether it be academic studies of human rights violations in developing countries... or a poor, unsuspecting d-list celebrity. I believed in her attraction though, because just as we are twins in sarcastic wit or gin aficionados, I also have lived this exact same situation with cough, certain East Bay deadbeats in a "band".

Christina didn't have such an easy time getting over her the object of her hey jauntyism. It took a few rabid phone calls to Lara and many cigarettes smoked in angry haste. But she did get over it.

And what do you know? As soon as we both give up and drop it.

Hey jauntyism refuses to be forgotten. Somehow. Incredibly. Now that we've not even given up but stopped caring, the greek god of irony hands these boys to us on a platter. Seriously.

Snorberg has been messaging me pretty regularly and we have sustained, boring conversations. There's never anything extraordinary or interesting to keep him coming back, and I never take the initiative to message him. And yet he persists. I don't have to do a thing. As we talk more and more, I'm discovering that he is basically my opposite in every way; from small things such as how he takes his coffee to serious shake-ups i.e. The UK Office vs. the Inferior Office. Now that I can have him, I have no interest in him!

Then! Christina and I never feel hungry at the same time or are never free on the same days, but lightning strikes twice when it comes to hey jauntyism. Last night, it happened for her. We went to a show for her birthday because I was determined to give her the gift of a comedian lover as she had always dreamed - she reluctantly because of allergies and work early the next morning. Good thing I'm a bit of a martinet once I've set my mind to things and dragged her to go. I think it's safe to say that the night turned out not just better than we could have imagined, but the fucking pinnacle.

Christina's interest performed in the show, and actually did really well. The show ended just after midnight, but it was a Sunday so we should have been rushing home. I stalled on our way out, hoping we would walk out with the boys and casually fall into conversation. There was too much of a crowd for us to have much hope, so we were ready to leave. Literally, out of left field, blindsiding Chrsitina, He comes with a cherubic grin and arms open.

"Hey, you're Christina, right? We're [twitter] friends!"

He hugged her. He started it and did it. He stated it, so now it's out there and irrevocable: they're friends.

And we weren't even trying. Not for any of it.

Nine months we accumulated worry lines and embarrassing memories. Now, finally, redemption!

Clearly the key is to not do anything. We've always discussed this strategy, but we're too impatient and willful. But good God, if it gets these kind of results?

I'm sitting back with my hands behind my head and my feet kicked up then. It's all up to you, boys.

back | forth