mission almost accomplished

2009-08-09 4:35 p.m.

June 2nd, 2008:

Last night Julie determinedly punched the couch and laid out our summer plans for Betty. This isn't exactly verbatim, but it's the gist:

"Ever since I was a stupid little teenybopper, I was in love with guys in bands. Now I'm older and they're younger, and they're actually attainable! I could sleep with them whenever they wanted!"

"Great, Julie. That should be every little girl's dream."

Our plan is to first find where all the members live and work. Identify their friends. Work our way into their circle. And then impossibly charm them. The last is the least likely to work. I'm confident in our stalking abilities (they have NO IDEA what we are capable of), but not so much in our personalities.

* * * * *

Obviously, the above was written about a deranged person by a deranged accomplice. I prayed that we would grow out of it, this Morning Benders mania, and we sort of have. I never imagined or allowed myself to hope that we would be far more successful than past stalking!

1. Find where the Benderz live and work
- Check! Employing our myriad stalking skills from terrible past experiences, Julie and I found out that the Morning Benders live at 1936 Channing Way, Berkeley CA. Tim was stupid enough to give us the cross streets, and then the whole band was stupid enough to record a video of them playing acoustic on the porch. The house number was pretty conspicuous, but Julie and I were blind to it. For 45 minutes we tried to freeze the frame of when Joe the guitarist flashed a phone bill with the address on it. As for work, I'm pretty sure half of them are unemployed, and then Chris works at a recording studio as a "producer" (scoff) and Tim babysits. Hahahaha.

2. Identify their friends.
- Simple enough. The bay area indie music scene is only so big, and I follow the bands religiously. God, "Don't Look Back In Anger" was written about me.

3. Work our way into their circle.
- And here's the snag.

For awhile, Julie and I were making good progress with Tim. He remembered our names, came over to talk to us, hugged us, took pictures with us, all of his own accord! I don't want to pull the Yoko card, but it all went wrong when he got a girlfriend. It's not a conspiracy theory. He finally came to his senses and told us to back off in a kind but patronizing way. Like an addict pouring out all her alcohol, I deleted all the messages to and from Tim.

Since our falling out - as much of a falling out as you could have when there was no real relationship/friendship to begin with, I haven't spoken one word to Tim. Julie and I stopped leaving presents for him on their porch. We went to a show and didn't look at him or speak to him even once. I'm sure he's very relieved by our ice-out.

As Tim started getting colder and ignoring us at shows, Joe and Julian started getting nicer. In the beginning, it was pathetic, because they knew us as "THOSE girls". They had twin reactions of amusement and wariness. I remember when Tim evaded me at the UCSD show, Julian came over to talk to me and Joe joined in. We always dismissed Julian as insignificant and Joe as hideous. Never gave them the time of day or same adoration and presents.

Still, they were Benderz.

I don't know how, I don't know why, but I'm going to very very hesitantly venture a guess that... Julian has taking a liking to me? I don't know! I meant to find out what was going on on Friday, but by being on my best behavior, I was also clammed up.

It started with a random message that grew into three hours of on and off conversation. I took this to mean that we were on friendly terms, and tried to convince him to get me into a Ra Ra Riot/Andrew Bird show. Foolishly, and possibly drunkenly, I messaged him with my phone number, and again, to my utter surprise, he called back. The show was a no go, and I was angry with him for ignoring my three calls back. I left it at that for a long time.

Incredibly, as we were coming own from the high of APW last week and thought the day couldn't possibly get better, it did. Christina got an @ tweet from the object of her affection and stalking. I checked the computer after her, and found that Tim invited me to a show/party at their house. I was invited to 1936 Channing; find where they live, work our way into the inner circle. Indeed!

Next: Impossibly charm them. Imposible, right? Perhaps wrong? Julian and I chatted again, and he said "see you there" in reference to the party.

I knew I shouldn't have gone, but I knew that I would. I recruited Anton and his friend Kevin to come along and keep me in check, though I was pretty sure I would restrain myself relatively well on my own. As we turned onto their street on Friday night, the street that I had always driven by quickly or walked down like a criminal casing aj oint, I panicked. My breathing got tight. I couldn't believe that I was actually going to go in, after standing outside, staring for so long.

The doorway was dark and the door open, so that solved the problem of knocking. I didn't want to face Tim just yet. Anton, bless him, strode in casually and asked for a bottle opener. To steady my hands, I held a Guinness, and tried to not look too shifty. The inside was nice: crown moldings along the ceiling and in the corners, a proud bookshelf and nice laundry unit. I peeked inside two of the bedrooms, but neither were Tim's. He lives in a closet, sort of, and I knew I couldn't get away with lying about sneaking into it. IT would be obvious.

All of their friends and girlfriends were there, and most gave me pointed looks. I wondered if they recognized me from embarrassing stories, or even too many shows. Finally, after the three of us had been in the house idly chatting with strangers for twenty minutes, I saw Tim come out of his "room". Again, panic I darted through the crowd (was standing in the middle of the room conspicuously) and ducked behind Anton, who was sitting on the couch. Except for during his set, I didn't make eye contact with Tim all night. I didn't say one word to him. Best behavior indeed!

From the side that I moved to came Little Chu, Chris' little brother. He hadn't escaped from mine and Julie's shenanigans either. We found his dorm after an exhausting day of determined, hardcore searching, and memorized it to go back another time and throw 40 oz beers on his bed. I'm also pretty sure he saw me at the height of El Rey Disaster 2k9. He gave the slightest indication by the tone of his voice when he said "Hey" that he recognized me, and was scared. I guess he composed himself after that, because we managed to talk normally for awhile about his major, "Taking Woodstock" and why he's playing with the Bender now.

News Update: Joe has permanently quit the band, right before a short European tour, and Lil Chu is filling in temporarily

Lil Chu must have bored of us after awhile, because he wandered off to talk to others. Julian enetered the scene shortly after this, and again with the dubious "hey". We talked about Guinness and his voice shortly, before he disappeared too.

The music portion of the night began, and the thirty or so people there were corralled into the living room, including me. I tried to sit in the hallway, out of sight and inconspicuous. I didn't want to be noticed by anyone, not just the Benderz, because everyone seemed like a really tight, exclusive indie crowd. I was embarrassed to be there, but even more so when Kevin spilled 75% of his Guinness on me. I was wearing tights too. Why do I keep getting soaked through when I'm wearing tights?

Tim was the second person to play, and he played mostly new songs that I'm not fond of. To my surprise, Kevin and Anton really liked him, and kept calling him "the adorable asian" throughout the night thereafter. After his set, I meant to leave, but Anton and Kevin wanted to smoke and I wanted to give Julian more time to explain himself. I also meant to bug him about getting us into Outsidelands for free. Julian kept wandering around though, and I only spoke to him once more, when he asked who was smoking cloves.

Pretty badass night for me, if I do say so myself, what with Guinness and cloves.

Kevin and Anton finished what they were doing, and by Anton's erratic behavior, I deemed it a good time to go home and put him to bed. We walked out of the party without saying goodbye to anyone.

I was disappointed with the night, but exhausted and went straight to bed without checking their facebook/twitter/myspace accounts for any mention of "THAT girl".

The next morning I decided to congratulate myself on being so normal instead of wallowing in misery. Tim didn't talk to me, and Julian hardly did. No Outsidelands guarantees. I woke up at 9.40 when I had to be in Berkely at 10.30 for my internship. Amazingly, I made it in time! Our meeting ran long, until past 2 pm! I was in a bad mood when I had to drive home in traffic, hardly keeping my eyes open.

Mechanically, I came home, ate cereal, and logged onto Facebook.

hey
Between You and Julian Harmon

Julian Harmon
August 8 at 3:47am
Didn't get to say bye, are you in berkeley still? Hit me up! 510...

What in God's fucking name? The mystery continues!

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