fancy free
2009-01-23 12:41 a.m.
I rewatched "Revolutionary Road" in theatres. The first time I streamed illegally from some website, on a secondhand high from Kate Winslet's win. It's a quiet movie, too slow and full of pregnant silences and subtle gestures for Ryan to appreciate. He was restless the entire time he sat next to me, ready for it to end with another forty minutes to go. As for me, I actually liked it even more the second time, really noticing things and thinking to myself about how Leonardo DiCaprio really did do a good job, if not good enough to edge out the other nominees for the Oscars.
Oh wait, he wasn't nominated.
Kate Winslet has only been nominated for her role as April Wheeler, not for the best supporting from "The Reader" as at the Globes. I'm really worried she won't win now. She had more of a chance with the supporting category. The first time I watched the movie, I watched it as Kate Winslet, not as her character. I didn't pay attention to the words, but more the gestures and her voice. This time, I listened to all of the dialogue closely.
Halfway through the movie, Ryan leaned over and whispered, "I'm scared we're going to be like this."
Of course he didn't mean "we" as in the actual two of us. Just the whole thought of suburbia itself, and such a monotonous life. Sam Mendes was smart to show Leo Di in an indiscriminate sea of gray suits and bowler hats for five minutes early in the movie. It scared me.
I decided that I sympathized with Kate's character more than Leo's because I understood what she was saying to a frightening degree. I am April Wheeler. I'm going to be a bad mother. I'm going to be a dissatisfied wife. She was calm and cold when she told him she didn't love him. That could be me. The only difference between April Wheeler and me is that I wouldn't go to Paris, but I would just as easily fall to whimsy and irrationale, think it perfectly fine to drop things in six months, pick up and go.
(spoiler alert)
I wonder if they would have been happy if they did go to Paris. If they still wouldn't have, then that means there's no hope for me or any other person like them. It's not just a movie. It's so affecting because it is so real.
Anytime my mom doesn't think I can do something, she says it's because my head is "always in the clouds". She says it really worries my dad that I'm not realistic. Actually, he tells me himself that I'm not "realistic". In that exact word. I wonder if I'll please my parents and save myself and grow out of it.
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